Back
Last updated: May 10, 2025

Self-Discrepancy vs. Self-Esteem: What You Should Know

Understanding the concepts of self-discrepancy and self-esteem is essential for anyone interested in mental health. Though they are related, they serve different roles in shaping how we perceive ourselves and our well-being. Let’s dive into each concept, compare them, and see how they influence our mental health.

What is Self-Discrepancy?

Self-discrepancy refers to the gap between how we see ourselves and how we wish to be seen. There are three main types of self-discrepancies:

  1. Actual Self: This is who you believe you are at present.
  2. Ideal Self: This is who you aspire to be, your goals, and dreams.
  3. Ought Self: This represents who you think you should be based on societal or familial expectations.

Example of Self-Discrepancy:

Imagine you see yourself as a hardworking student (actual self), but you dream of being a top scholar (ideal self). If you feel pressured to get straight A's because your parents expect it (ought self), this gap can lead to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment.

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is the evaluation of your own worth. Simply put, it’s how much you value yourself. High self-esteem means you have a positive view of yourself, while low self-esteem can lead to negative thoughts and feelings.

Types of Self-Esteem:

There are generally two types of self-esteem:

  • High Self-Esteem: This leads to confidence and a positive outlook on life.
  • Low Self-Esteem: This can cause feelings of unworthiness and can affect your mental health.

Example of Self-Esteem:

Consider someone who feels confident in their abilities and appreciates their worth. They are likely to take on challenges and handle setbacks better. In contrast, someone with low self-esteem might shy away from opportunities, fearing failure or judgment.

Comparing Self-Discrepancy and Self-Esteem

While self-discrepancy and self-esteem are interconnected, they have distinct characteristics:

FeatureSelf-DiscrepancySelf-Esteem
DefinitionGap between actual, ideal, and ought selvesEvaluation of self-worth
FocusHow we perceive ourselves versus who we want to beHow we value ourselves
ImpactCan lead to feelings of failure or disappointmentInfluences motivation and resilience

How They Influence Mental Health

Both self-discrepancy and self-esteem play critical roles in our mental health:

  • Self-Discrepancy: A large gap between your actual self and your ideal self can lead to anxiety, depression, and a sense of failure. The more significant the discrepancy, the more likely you are to experience these negative feelings.
  • Self-Esteem: Low self-esteem is often linked to various mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. It can lead to a lack of motivation, making it harder to achieve your goals, which may further widen the self-discrepancy gap.

Real-Life Impact

Consider someone dealing with self-discrepancy and low self-esteem:

  • Scenario: A young professional feels they should be more successful (ought self) and compares themselves to colleagues (ideal self). They may feel inadequate (actual self) and struggle with anxiety at work.
  • Effect: This can hinder their performance, creating a cycle of self-doubt and dissatisfaction.

Understanding the differences and connections between self-discrepancy and self-esteem can help individuals and professionals identify areas for personal growth and improvement in mental health.

Dr. Neeshu Rathore

Dr. Neeshu Rathore

Clinical Psychologist, Associate Professor, and PhD Guide. Mental Health Advocate and Founder of PsyWellPath.