Navigating Your Emotions: The Power of Externalization

Externalization is a fascinating concept in psychology that helps people understand their feelings and behaviors better. It involves taking what’s going on inside of us—our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs—and projecting them outward. Let’s break this down in a simple and relatable way.

What is Externalization?

In psychology, externalization refers to the process of attributing personal feelings or issues onto external objects or situations. This can be a helpful strategy for dealing with tough emotions. Instead of keeping everything bottled up inside, externalization allows us to express what we're feeling in a way that feels safer or more manageable.

Why Do We Externalize?

People externalize for various reasons:

• To Cope: It can be easier to talk about feelings when we frame them in terms of external events or characters.
• To Gain Perspective: By seeing our feelings as separate from ourselves, we can analyze them more objectively.
• To Communicate: Externalizing can help us explain complex emotions to others without feeling overwhelmed.

Types of Externalization

Externalization can take many forms. Here are a few common types:

• Verbal Externalization: Talking about feelings as if they belong to someone else. For example, saying, “I feel like the world is against me,” instead of “I feel overwhelmed.”
• Artistic Externalization: Expressing emotions through art, writing, or music. This can be a powerful way to convey feelings that are hard to put into words.
• Behavioral Externalization: Acting out feelings through behaviors. For instance, someone might punch a pillow when feeling angry instead of lashing out at a person.

Real-Life Examples of Externalization

Let’s look at some scenarios where externalization plays a role:

• Example 1: The Overwhelmed Student Imagine a student who feels anxious about exams. Instead of saying, “I’m so anxious,” they might say, “This exam is making me feel like I’m drowning.” By externalizing their anxiety onto the exam, they can discuss their feelings more freely and seek help or strategies to manage the pressure.

• Example 2: The Frustrated Parent A parent might express their frustrations by saying, “My kids are driving me crazy!” Instead of focusing on their own feelings of overwhelm, they project it onto their children. This allows them to talk about their struggles without feeling like they are blaming themselves.

Steps to Practice Externalization

If you want to try externalization, here are a few simple steps:

1. Identify Your Feelings: Take a moment to think about what you're feeling. Is it anger, sadness, frustration?
2. Choose a Target: Decide on an external object or situation to project your feelings onto. This could be an event, a person, or even an imaginary character.
3. Express It: Use language that distances your feelings from yourself. For example, instead of saying, “I’m so stressed,” try, “This situation is causing so much stress.”
4. Reflect: Take a step back and think about what you just expressed. How does it feel to have voiced it this way?
5. Communicate: Share your externalized feelings with someone you trust. This can help clarify your emotions and lead to constructive discussions.

Comparison: Externalization vs. Internalization

To better understand externalization, let’s compare it with its opposite—internalization:

• Externalization involves projecting feelings outward, making them seem separate from oneself.
• Internalization means keeping feelings inside, often leading to stress or anxiety.

While both strategies have their place, externalization can often help reduce the intensity of emotions, making it easier to cope with them.

By using externalization, you can create a bridge between your emotions and your understanding of them. This technique not only aids in emotional clarity but also enhances communication with others around you.